Is your inner world your sanctuary, or your prison?

Juxtaposed against the outer world, with all its natural beauty and tangible drama, lies an inner world full of imagination and abstraction. Where the laws of nature, cultural and social mores, one's personal financial wherewithal, our need for acceptance, meaning and purpose govern the outer world, no such rules and laws regulate the inner one.

Here, in this place of secret fantasy, we do much, much more than we could ever dream of doing in the real world. In this inner realm live friend and foe alike, and in this most private, uncensored space we have the freedom to deal with our aggressors in ways that might otherwise put us in jail, where we live out our most intimate desires without the risk of rebuttal, where we jump without the constraints of gravity, fly without wings, time travel, and meet people that have long departed, or never existed. The only censure here is of our own making. It is a rich world of raw emotion, a cauldron of lust, holiness, inspiration, insightfulness, depravity and terror. Nature prevents those on the outside from peeping into this sanctuary of ours, making this the most personal and private place we have. Here we can often feel victorious, yet sometimes we can also become victims imprisoned within the lonely isolation of this impenetrable and inescapable space.

The interface between this inner universe and the outer one is permeable. Who we are on the inside leaks outwardly, influencing the way we interact with people on the other side of this divide. Inner passion manifests as outer creativity, but the converse is also true. Our experiences in the outer realm seep back into our subconsciousness, planting seeds that germinate within our minds, turning themselves into the beliefs and expectations we have of ourselves, be they debilitating or reassuring. That which happens to us on the outside, shapes who we are on the inside, sometimes encouraging and driving us to greatness, leaving us with inner visualisations of unlimited possibilities, while at other times dragging us down and making us feel small and fragile.

Not all of that which bubbles up within finds external expression. Many of our inner desires and dreams sink back into the subconscious where they lie like dormant carcasses covered by slimy layers of regret and remorse. Buried within these compacted sedimentary layers of inner awareness are lost loves, romantic occasions that slipped by unfulfilled, and hopes, promises and desires that never saw the light of day. But also, like fossilised remnants preserved in these subconscious layers of time are deep moments of hurt, the unspeakable treachery that befell us, the soreness of the betrayal and abuse we may have suffered at the hands of others. Our instinct keeps us from stirring these muddy layers of silt, to prevent a resurgence of these awful events, because anything thus resuscitated happens as if it was happening to us once more in the present moment, and indeed, that is precisely what occurs within.

Just as our inner fantasies tantalise, arouse, stimulate, inform and motivate us, so too do they often result in those nightmarish moments of cold, sweaty fear that haunts us, bringing with it waves of anxiety and terror. While we are quite able to differentiate between fantasy and reality in our wakened state, no such mechanism exists on the inside, making it impossible for us, when we are asleep, to know the difference between what we are imagining and what is real. In this inner world, fantasy and reality coalesce, provoking reactions and responses in our physical being, as if these things were happening to us in real life — and in some sense, they are.

There are many people, and I am one of them, who fervently pursue active introspection using meditation, mindfulness and the sacred use of mind-opening substances, going within to find greater connection with self, and an awareness of the world beyond our eyes and our place in it. However, it is equally true that many actively avoid poking about in these dark recesses of the subconscious mind, and it comes as no surprise that many use substances, or compulsive engagement in diversive behaviour, to suppress their inner thoughts, hoping to numb themselves from the pain of reliving old hurt, abuse and marginalisation, and to avoid the disappointment of taking too close a look at themselves reflecting back at them from that inner mirror.

Reach out if you would like to bounce about a few introspective methods and techniques or if you would like to have a sounding board against which you can challenge your existing beliefs and ideas.

Reach out too if you need to safely revitalise and renovate your inner world, if you find yourself engaging in the obsessive use of alcohol, drugs and other suppressants, or cannot help yourself from indulging in diversive behaviour to numb or block out those hurtful aspects that lie buried within.

Together, let us make this inner world of ours a pleasantly private, safe and wholesome sanctuary.